getting notes on a selfie
this one time a guy in my class was gonna download his presentation from hotmail.com
HE SPELLED IT WRONG
HE SPELLED HOTMALE.COM
HE WAS CONNECTED TO THE PROJECTOR
WE WERE TWELVE
JUST IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED
Found this little guy outside of a Mexican restaurant last night. His name is Queso
THAT THING LOOKS LIKE A DEMON, WHY WOULD YOU NAME HIM AFTER CHEESE?
IT IS OBVIOUSLY A BLACK FLOOF AND HAS/WILL NEVER HURT A SOUL. DID YOU EVEN LOOK AT IT?!???!
THIS IS THE ONLY WOMAN WHO CAN STAND NEXT TO BEYONCE AND STILL BE THE MOST FABULOUS PERSON IN THE ROOM
HELLO BOYS YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE SAD IF THE GIRL YOU LIKE DOESNT LIKE YOU BACK
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL HER A WHORE/SLUT/PRUDE BITCH ETC AND THINK YOURE ENTITLED TO HER NETHER REGIONS
I started to read that in Crowley’s voice but as I got further on it slowly turned into Thor.
I have a list of people I want to cuss me out.
Peter Capaldi is on the top of that list.
i have never loved the word fuck this much before….
If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them
I CANT BREATHE
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE
Let’s say it’s 6.15pm and you’re going home (alone of course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself..!!
NOW HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE…
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.
However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously.
A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.
A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating.
The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can perhaps buy precious time to get themselves to a phone and dial 911.
Rather than sharing another joke please contribute by broadcasting this which can save a person’s life!
Be prepared and become part of the solution. Get your free next-of-kin notification card today. Click here: https://www.InCaseOfEmergencyCard.com/
major signal boost
Reblogging cause this could save someone’s life
This could save many lives, reblog
Thank you for this!
Some call me … Tim.
OMG OKAY THIS IS GOLD. The pallas cat at my local zoo apparently does this, and there’s a little sort of kid-level viewing window into its habitat, and the keeper in that area told me that the pallas cat likes to hide beneath the window. So when the kids press their faces up to the glass, searching the exhibit for the animal, the pallas cat suddenly pops up directly in front of their faces and scares the ever-loving shit out of them. Pallas cat: recreationally scares children. Tell your friends.
I AM FREAKING CRYIN’
IT GOT BETTER
Peter Capaldi to Steven Moffat: